Monday, January 31, 2011

Top 10 Signs of Southern Living

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've said that over the past five months.

To say our move to the South has been a culture shock would be the understatement of the century.

It different here.
Okay, it's really different here. The music, the culture, the people.  On numerous occasions I've found myself shocked, rolling on the floor laughing, and saying 'excuse me' for the 50th time (because I'm still trying to understand the southern drawl).

Sometimes I'm all three at once.

There are things that I love about it (like the butter, see below) and things I really don't like about it. But it's where we are, and where we feel we're supposed to be.  So we just take one day at a time, trying to find the laughter in every situation.
Here are 10 things I've noticed about living in the south:

Top 10 signs of southern living

(1) Your local grocer only sells whole milk.

Yes, that's right whole milk.  Cross-my-heart this happened to us our very first trip to the grocery store after our move. Talk about a scare. I feel like I have to eat whole milk with a spoon, might as well be ice cream.  We drink the watery stuff around our house.

(2)Your next-door neighbor is a Coon Hunter's Association Lodge.
Okay they aren't right next door, but it's pretty close. I've put a sign in our yard warning the poor coon's.

(3) They serve grits with everything.  You can even get them in a box.

(4) It's not a real meal without sweet tea.  I wasn't a sweet tea drinker until I moved to these parts.  I had no idea what I'd been missing. This stuff is like liquid heaven.  My favorite way to drink sweet tea is what I've learned is called an Arnold Palmer, half tea + half lemonade.  It's the best.

(5) Butter, Butter, and more Butter.  I LOVE this part.  One thing they aren't shy about in the south is the generous use of butter, in everything.  Here is my ode to butter:

Can you actually believe I said something might not require butter.  What was I thinking?  Don't worry BB, I take it back....I take it back.

(6) Warning, Outsider Alert.  One thing I have noticed here is the 'true southerners' are thicker than blood.  It seems they can smell you (an outsider) from a mile away.  I don't even have to speak.  Maybe its my hair.  Or I might have a tattoo on my forehead, visible only to the southerner eye.  Hey, maybe that's what happened when I blacked out for a time during my DMV visit.  That would explain a lot.

(7) Dessert is required.  I LOVE LOVE this part.  I can never get enough of the delicious cakes, brownies, and candy that always seem to be available after every meal here.

(8) Take your sweet time.  I've quickly learned that 5 minutes here is really 15 minutes anywhere else.  No one seems to be in a rush for anything. This was is a hard lesson for my Type A, always on time, obsessive compulsive personality to learn.  It's a work in progress.

(9) Bojangles.  Need I say more?

This is something I never got to experience back home.  My absolute favorite grocery store, is no where to be found in our neck of the woods. But we've found solace in BJ's and the cheddar bo.  It's an eastern North Carolina delicacy.

(10) Bless your heart.  I've learned this is the southern "get out of jail free" card.  There is even a section in the local newspaper called "Bless your heart."  Here is the description:

Do you have a bone to pick or perhaps thanks to share? The time has come to be seen and heard. The Bless your Heart column allows readers to say whatever is on their mind without leaving their name, unless they want to. 

This column is a must read for some good chuckles.  Talk about sweet, smooth advice with a little bit of a sting!

Keep on laughin',


If life were a box of chocolates said...

Kevin wants to know what all is on that Cheddar Bo. lol said...

As one of your new "born and bred" southern "friends" (even though i don't live anywhere near you) i feel it is my duty to make sure that you understand something-
you can put both butter AND cheese in the grits!

and i'm crackin up about "bless your heart" cause ... well, nobody can deliver a back-handed compliment with such style and grace as a snotty southern belle!

...of course, not all of us are so bad, but - if you're in a small town- you can expect to wait it out a couple of years before the locals decide you're ok...for a yankee! lol- kelli

Simplifying in the South said...

@ If life were a box of chocolates:

It's just a homemade biscuit with LOADS of cheese. Think they put some kind of garlic salt in the biscuit batter though. It is delicious!

@ adventurezinchildrearing:

Butter and cheese! My two favorite things, I'm definitely going to have to try that. And so glad for my fellow "southern" friend. Glad I could make you smile!

Jana Lovins said...

This sounds like Ashland....could there be that much difference from Louisville and Ashland?

Simplifying in the South said...

Really grits and Bojangles in Ashland? Looks like I missed out on all the southern living highlights :)

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