I've felt uninspired, complacent, and hopeless. And that is a recipe for disaster. I've felt myself being drawn back into the status quo, like a person being sucked into a black hole.
My Current Life State
This week life has been demanding more, more, more. And it's been difficult to fight for my simple life. Despite my apathy, I'm grateful I've picked up on some warning signs. Little habits I've let myself slip back into, taking form of my complicated, stressful, and cluttered previous life. Little red flags like:
Watching TV. Now all TV is not bad, and I have been known to watch an occasional episode of my favorite sitcom, when tempted by my better half. But over the past 3 months I had given up TV, except for the occasional football game or movie. I was really enjoying the extra quiet time to write and read. However, this week all I have wanted to do every night is sit in front of my television and just stare. Not walk our puppy, not write, not read, not exercise, no just stare blankly and not think.
Wishing I were doing things I love. I found myself this morning thinking "I really miss taking pictures". I've been yearning for some down time to spend reading and spending time with my better half.
The desire for retail therapy. Like peanut butter wants jelly. It was bad. I just knew buying something would give me contentment, however brief. Commercials didn't help either.
These are few of my warning signs that let me know I am on the path to BUSY and not making time for myself. Maybe it's the time change, or the fact that cold weather is on its way. Maybe it's my grant that is due at the end of the month, or the fact that our house has yet to sell back home. Whatever it is I'm determined to capture it, kick it to the curb and realign my priorities.